Saturday, January 08, 2011

Surreal Dreams



Don't you just hate it when you have dreams that feel so real that they actually stimulate just as real emotions? Well, they're not 'just as real' cause the dream was just a dream -- anything but real-- but, you know, you hurt just the same. I had a couple of those last night and it was just awful.

And, evidently, I use the word 'just' a little too much. Haha. You'll have to pardon me. I've a tendency to get like that when I'm overwhelmed with emotion. Better put, it left me lost for words. It left me profoundly speechless.

I ought to keep a dream dairy. I don't dream very often but when I do, they're the most legendary things. Haha.

My dream started out with this guy I really like, love even, and well, he was back to his old self, back when I thought I had a chance with him; back when I thought he was happy having me around. He came in twins actually, both representing two very different people -- his old self, the one I love and miss, and his new self.

I couldn't care heck about his 'new self' twin because I was madly in love with the other. Then, he just had to die. His better half had to die. And I miss that part of him immensely. I woke up crying because the sense of loss and hurt I felt when he died in that dream of mine was precisely as painful, precisely as aggravating as it was when he finally got a girlfriend and I started to matter less and less.

There isn't really much of a difference between his new self and old. He's still pretty much the same old best friend of a guy who's sweet and funny and who's absurdly adorable when he begins beating on about the simplest of things. The only difference, is, well, that I don't matter as much anymore. He doesn't need me. I doubt that he ever did need me, actually. But, you know, he made me feel like he did. He made me feel like I mattered, like I mattered a lot.

It's whole lot different now.

I know it might've not been a very valid reason to cry but, good golly, I did. And I'm not going to shy about of it.

Okay, anyway, guess what?
I made a song.
HAHAHA. I've always wanted to say that. :>

It's not much though since it's only the first verse, but here we have it. :D

Listen!

And in case whatever I'm saying is completely incomprehensible, on your behalf, here are the lyrics.

Driveway
Joanna Morales

Sittin' by the driveway
Feelin' mighty low
And I whisper words in the air
Little thoughts of you
Dancin' in my mind
Smilin' as though you were here


Oh, heck yeah, I feel so awesome. HAHA. :D
I shall now attempt to find a beat for it. Or if I'm lucky enough and my abilities allow me, make a beat of my own. LOL. Wish me luck! :D

And since I'm feeling very musical tonight, I might as well go for it full throttle.
Watch me dance and I will blow your brains out. HAHAHAHA.

Well, not really.
But if you're really bored, like, really really bored, it gets entertaining after a while. :D

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