Bipolar

In regards to my -- for lack of a better term -- emotional well-being, this week has been an epitome of polar opposites.

I've been sad and I've been happy, elated then glum. I don't understand it.
Have you ever had moments like this in your life? Cause I do, more often than I think I should. And it's beginning to concern me, lol.

Although, I must say that I've actually had an exponentially good week; tons better than I had made it sound. In fact, it's easily one of the best weeks I've had for a while now. I had nothing bad happen to me and I had nothing that I should've been directly sad about. I just somehow manage to bring all that sadness upon myself.

Toggle Nonsense

It starts off like this.
I begin my day all chirpy and happy with just so much joy in my heart. This week, I've uncovered heaps of reasons to be happy and grateful so, you see, it's almost like I can't help feeling that way. :))
And then, I get to school.

Somehow, I have this insatiable need to share the feeling with everyone.
There's no other way I know how to explain it.

The buzzing fuzzy feeling of wholeness. The feeling that every aspect of your life is pieced perfectly together. The feeling that your life has come to a full circle and that everything makes sense. I don't even know how to properly put it into words. It's such a beautiful, wonderful feeling and in my best ability, I try to communicate these emotions with people in hopes that maybe they can feel it too, even if just a hint.

I fail just as fiercely as I try.
And it upsets me so much cause I couldn't make them see just how amazing I know life can be.
You know, for everybody.

I go to school and I see people upset.
I see people disappointed, sad, angry, frustrated, annoyed and every other possible negative emotion there is in existence. I try to help them, to cheer them up but I can't as much as I would like to. It's disheartening. It makes me feel helpless and, sometimes, I almost guilty that I'm as happy as I am.

Then one thought leads to another and I get so sad out of nothing. It's weird.
I'm weird.

I've always wanted to be a cause of happiness.
I guess it's just disappointing cause now that I am at the peak of mine, I thought it would be much easier to convey it. But really, it isn't. Cause I'm apparently horrible at expressing myself. LOL.

What's the point of being happy when you can't share it?
It doesn't make me any less thankful for the good things. I still am, excessively.
I just sometimes wish they're, in a way, transferable, y'know? Haha.

Cause I know of a few who are in need of some.

Goodness, I cannot be left alone with my thoughts.

Anyhow, I'm now off be all studious and stuff.
I'm doing real good in school and I want to keep doing good. :D

This weekend, I'm going to make White Paper Peonies and A Jellyfish in a Bottle cause one simply can't have enough peonies and jellyfishes in their life. HAHA.

Top of the evening to you. :)